What it's like to be a Man in today's society

   In today's society with the advancement of technology and progress we face new sets of problems in our day to day life. In one hand we're a progressive society where we talk about equality of gender and race in other hand we discard the problems of others who have a different opinion than ours. According to today's topic we'll be talking about men and the problems they face in this society. It is one of those topics that are least valued and least discussed among today's generation. People don't really think that men can also have problems. Their voices gets lost amidst all the shouting of women's rights and women empowerment. It doesn't mean that women empowerment isn't necessary (Please don't take my words out of context just to prove your feminist points). But what about men's problems.

     Let's start from the beginning. As a male child we're taught men are meant to be strong, they are not allowed to show tears in public as it is a sign of weakness. We're never taught that, girls are weak because they cry. There is a false notion that "Patriarchy" teaches us not to cry, it shows weakness. No, it was my mom who taught me this. That never made me think that my mom was weak whenever she cried. My mom is one of the strong women I've come across in my life. But one think I learned from my experience is that lesson was true but by a proportion. You can cry and won't feel week if you're on your own or in some circumstances with the right person. That person is most definitely your mom and your family members. If you cry in front of your friends, irrespective of their gender you're always told to man up. Sometimes many people say that men should cry, express their feelings and all but who is there to listen. You can't count on your girlfriend or your wife. Maybe sometimes it's easy to speak but sometimes they think of you as a crybaby and not in a good sense.

     Then, we grow up go to school, meet people, make friends. Some of you are from all boys school. Let's talk about their experience. We're always surrounded by guys who tell you to be tough. To have "Guy's hobby". You'll be made fun of if you like dancing or if you don't like sports. Your surrounding helps you build a wall around your feelings. For those who are from co-ed schools you're exposed to the way of the world early. Something kind of tradition that has been maintained over the years is that girls and boys are seated apart from each other. One row is for girls and the other for the boys. There goes our first sense of equality. Some of you talk to the girls some of you can't. It's an inside thing. But somehow we make it out of high school alive.

     Then hits puberty. Your body starts to change. Your body hair starts to grow. Your voice start to change. You seclude yourself from others. Then you learn about many new things about your body. And according to our current syllabus you also get to know about the women body. But that's the physical changes we're talking about. We also come across a lot of mental changes too. Like how to talk to girls, insecurities and many more. But still you're young and some what naïve. You still think that the world is a good place and there are two kinds of people good and bad. If you don't do anything bad or hurt anyone you're a good person and nothing bad happens to good people. But that dream like life ends pretty soon when you come to learn the harsh reality of this world. I came to know about it a year before my 10th boards. Something my mom told me that still rings in my mind. "World isn't about always good and bad people. Good people also gets punished for some things that they never did." Around that time we're more or less aware of co-ed studies. Maybe in the school maybe in you tuition batch. I can say that my mother raised me to be a gentleman, a human being a kind one who helps others who doesn't harm other people. But then she told me "You shouldn't hold hands with girls. If you're early to a tuition batch with girls, don't go inside. Stay outside and wait for you teacher to come. Only then enter the room." I asked her why out of curiosity. She told me that if some girl claims that I've touched her inappropriately it can get me in trouble even if I've done nothing of that sort. This was the first time that the fear of being falsely accused of any wrongdoing first entered my mind. But without her warning I never changed the way I talked to my friends cause I never believed that as she had no proof. I completed my 12th boards from a co-ed school, had a lot of girls as my friends and never faced such problems that my mom warned me about. It's all thanks to my them. I had a wonderful group of friends who let me in their lives loved me so much, cared about me.

     Then came college. All the prospective you had about girls change entirely. You see people with ego, selfishness. Come across all the things going on around the world cause now you have access to internet. Then you learn what your mom told you is true. You start to keep you distance from girls. In busses, trains you try to avoid being near girls cause you've learned what happens to men who accidentally touch a women in a packed bus or train. That's the fear that starts to grow inside you. You're afraid of even talking to them. Then, with time you grow up. You start to forget the fear you had once. Maybe even meet someone sweet. Someone you feel like always talking to. Who makes you feel whole, who makes you forget what a stressful day you had at your work. Then, you finally decide to marry her. You may even start a family have kids. But as the topic was going this is not a happy ending story. Somewhere along your relationship you feel like things are going right and it's time for things to end or maybe something she did that made things this way and you want divorce. But the law is against you. Whatever you've earned goes to her, even she gets the custody of your children. Maybe, she can't have it, so she files a false case on you. To my readers, you can search the internet for filed false cases against husbands. You'll be shocked how many false cases there have been filed. How many men are fighting for getting the custody of their son where it's not their fault. Even if you haven't done things that have been claimed against you, you're still treated badly by your coworkers, family, society, even by the law as you're guilty. 

     

     In the same note when some guy is falsely accused of sexual harassment, domestic violence or even worse, rape your life ends that day like dominoes. You lose your job, you girlfriend or wife, your friends. Your family members start to hate you and you lose your dignity. You're deemed guilty until proven innocent. And the law is biased it's not something new. So, you fight to prove your innocence while you fall into poverty, deal with starvation or from inside prison. Maybe someday you finally are proven innocent and you are released. But the real harm is already done. You've lost everything you had dear to you. Now all you are left with is your life which now means nothing. So finally you take the only thing you have. It's hilarious when some people say that men suicide percentage is high because they don't share their feelings. Well, when everything is gone feelings really doesn't matter. 

     At modern times when people talk about women empowerment and the progress of society if someone says that men also have problems that are of concern too, people laugh at it. But it's time someone addresses these problems to the world. We all need to talk about it more often so this come into view. If we can't help each other and acknowledge other's problems, then where's the equality that our so called progressive society is so proud of. People need to know being a man in today's society is not that easy.